I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
