walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
