So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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