So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
