Got a toothbrush?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
