im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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