This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize