Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
