im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
