i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wear drunk well.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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