i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
