he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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