Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
