Sober January is a disaster.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
