guys are not supposed to queef...right?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
