Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
