booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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