could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
