Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Randomize
