how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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