Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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