I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
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You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize