some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
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