Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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