my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
