just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
