Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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