I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize