If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize