i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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