I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
