when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
