like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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