I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
