redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
