Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
why do cheetos always look like penises
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
