i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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