The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
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