fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
