i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
