Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
