If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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