ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this just has baby written all over it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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