3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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