Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
