Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
