if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
