forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
