And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
