Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
