I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
