so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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