And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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