Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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