I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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