Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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