i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
