he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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