Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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