I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
