It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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