It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
ttyl tear gas
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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