He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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