I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize