As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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